I’ve recently met someone and we’ve fallen pretty hard for each other. Plus, she’s totally hung up on the fact that he said he was divorced on OKCupid. For reasons more pragmatic than principled, I am opposed to people dating before they are divorced. We both have two kids in middle school: a girl and a boy. So, for all intents and purposes, it's like they're divorced, they just haven't done the paperwork. She says dating him is wrong because he’s still a married man. Dear In Love, I realize this happens all the time, but I think misrepresenting one’s marital status on a dating site raises legitimate questions about a person’s veracity. The bigger issue here is not that Ben said he was divorced on OKCupid, it’s that he is in fact still married.Our life is an —not a foregone conclusion (and that’s a good thing! But the more aware you are of what, potentially, you’re getting into when you enter a relationship, the better you can mitigate your chances of heartbreak and relationship disaster.And with that awareness you make yourself more available for long-term love with the right guy.I know that he needs to do this in order to truly be able to pursue a future with me.He must grieve, mourn and separate before he can maintain a healthy, loving, confident relationship with me.
Ben also separated from his wife two years ago (yet another thing we have in common), but neither he nor his wife filed.
I ended up becoming THAT girl (the one who needs too much reassurance) out as a result and we have decided to take a break.
I have told him I support him 100% in whatever he needs to figure things out in his life.
Relationships have gotten really complicated these days.
With people marrying less and divorcing more, it's no wonder that the opportunity, and challenge, of dating while separated has become pretty commonplace.